Scarlet and Gray

"Has this been bothering you for a long time?" Nghi asked.

"Yeah, why?" I said.

"Your head. You're gray." She said, with great concern.

We were talking about my future when my furrowed brow must have caused her eyes to catch a glimpse of my aging scalp.

I found my first gray hair when I was 22. I remember straightening my hair in my tiny bathroom on Fairmount St. when something glimmered in the mirror. I took a closer look, grabbed my tweezers, pulled, and taped it to a black piece of paper.

Proudly, I showed it to a friend in class that afternoon. "Check it out. I'm going gray. I blame Dr. Anderson."

We giggled at my new-found adult-ness and I remember thinking how cool it would feel to be a 20-something year old with gray hair.

This is a picture of my father holding me. I am one week old. My father is 32. You can see his gray hair starting to show around his temple and in his mustache.

Growing up, my friends always thought that my father was my grandpa. His hair turned white soon after I was born. He used to jokingly blame my brother and I for making him turn white, but in looking at family photographs, his entire family had white hair at remarkably young ages.

After my father passed away, I remember wanting someone to look at me and say "Oh, you have your father's ______!" I wanted a physical trait that undeniably connected me to him. I used to stare at pictures of my father and look at myself in the mirror hoping to see some sort of resemblance. However, I look exactly like my mother (which isn't a bad thing... my mother is quite beautiful).

This is a picture of my head taken about 20 minutes ago. Before moving here, I dyed my hair back to it's original color to prevent having to use Chinese hair dyes again and it has only illuminated my quickly graying head. I'm not really ashamed at the grays (even though I counted over 20 in 1 square inch). I'm weirdly proud of them. I feel like I finally have a physical trait that links me to my father... and I feel distinguished.

National Holiday

This past Friday, October 1st, was the National Holiday. The amount of holidays in China can really get confusing, but this one is much more important than the rest. The National Holiday celebrates the establishment of the Communist Party during the Cultural Revolution in 1949. It's their equivalent of the 4th of July... only with less "freedom."

It has been smoggier than normal here. This picture was taken outside of the Forbidden City in Beijing during the National Holiday festivities. It hadn't been raining, nor was it overcast that day.

I had been dealing with an annoying cold all week, but thought nothing of it until Friday morning. I woke up with a deep, vulgar, putrid cough.

As an asthmatic, there's nothing scarier than the addition of a sickness to exacerbate your already deficient breathing.

Alex met me outside of my apartment building and we took a taxi to the hospital. Our good friend, Tom (a Tianjin local), met us there. Alex's Chinese skills are exceptionally better than mine, but when it comes to medical lingo, we were both at a complete loss. Tom is a great friend of both of ours and is always willing to help. He arrived at the hospital with dark circles under his eyes.

"What did you do all night?" Alex asked.

"I just bought a playstation. I played Resident Evil all night. I killed zombies until 5am" Tom said.

Upon entering, I was amazed at the massive amount of people waiting inside the lobby. Tom took me to the check-in desk and I was rushed to the front of the line. I asked Tom why we were rushed to the front and he said, "because... you're a foreigner."

I didn't complain.

Upon entering our area of the hospital, we were each given surgical masks. Tom escorted me to the "blood giving" line and the "pee sample" booth. After receiving my results, we were asked to wait in line for another doctor. I had been practicing how to say asthma "xiaochuan" and bronchitis "zhiqi guanyan", but to my surprise, my doctor spoke adequate English.

I told him that I had a cold all week but that my cough had started to develop and was worsening each moment. He listened to my lungs and looked at my chart.

Tom stood next to me as I tried to convey each symptom to the doctor. I made sure that he knew what I was allergic to and that I had asthma. He asked Tom a few questions and then turned to me.

"What color is your cough?" he asked.

"Green."

"You have virus," he said.

"No I don't. Zhiqi guanyan. I have bronchitis." I said most adamantly.

"No, white blood cells normal. Just a virus. I prescribe 2 IVs. One today, one tomorrow. Sleep. Drink hot water and this."

He shoved 2 bottles of Chinese medicine into my hands.

We were then sent to the IV room where they hooked me up to a glucose/sodium chloride drip with a shot of something else inside. Tom didn't know what was in the shot, but after seeing my voracious appetite and unbelievable strength, I'm sure that it was a shot of Prednisone.

I love Prednisone.

They needed another "pee sample" after about 1/2 of my IV was completed. After returning with the results, Tom spoke briefly with the doctor.

He turned to me with a grave look in his eyes (which was all I could see because of the surgical mask).

"I'm sorry, Abbie. It's bad news. Your blood is mutating. You are turning into a zombie. We're going to have to kill you." Tom said.

I appreciate his attempt to bring levity to the situation, but that was the last thing I wanted to hear while sitting in a hospital in the country where SARS originated.

"Thanks, Tom." I said. "Don't forget to aim for the brains."

I returned to the hospital yesterday for another round of IVs and another shot. I really really hope this is the last time I ever have to see the inside of a Chinese hospital.

However, I am amazed by the treatment I received. The cost of 2 hospital visits equals about $45. My doctors were attentive and extremely knowledgable. The facilities left much to be desired, but I survived.

My breathing is much clearer.

I partly give credit to the bottles of Chinese medicine the doctor gave to me. I have no idea what is inside of them, but it tastes like motor oil, ginger, cranberries, and lotus root. In any case, it has cured my cough and given me a great amount of energy.

"Ting hao de" = Marvelous/Wonderful/Very good

My favorite weather has finally arrived in China. In my eyes, nothing is better than a cold, rainy, fall day. I love the change of seasons and how the fallen leaves find themselves glued to every surface. I love running through puddles and shielding myself from the pouring rain.

This morning, I readied myself for the elements with my boots, umbrella, and waterproof jacket. I crossed the bridge and waved to an oncoming taxi.

He slammed on his brakes and drove into a giant puddle.

I was drenched.

"Xie Xie." I dryly said to my driver as I got into the taxi.

"So sorry! so sorry!" he shouted.

On the days that I teach at the hotel, I usually just flag a taxi down, call one of the employees at TEC, and have them tell the cab driver where I need to go. My Mandarin skills are not nearly good enough to instruct a taxi driver how to get to this far off location. Unfortunately, this morning, no one answered their phones.

My driver looked at me and asked where I needed to go.

"Just go straight," I said in muddied Mandarin.

I frantically called Alex who then gave me the number of an employee at the hotel.

"Derrick! I need you to tell the taxi driver where to go."

"Where are you?" He asked.

"I have no idea.... just talk to him."

Derrick and my taxi driver ended up having a 10 minute conversation as he weaved his way in and out of traffic. After hanging up my phone, my driver offered me a cigarette and asked me to clean the back window. We had a nice conversation until my Mandarin skills were bled dry. I told him I was from America and I teach English both at the university and for private companies. He seemed happy with my language skills. We were about a half of an hour away from my destination when he started singing Chinese opera songs to me. Chinese opera, unlike every other opera, is not calming, soothing, or beautiful. The high-pitched tones and squealing verses make my ears hurt. He looked back at me in search of approval.

"Ting hao de," I said, and gave him a thumbs up.

On Mondays, I teach at the university from 8am until 5:40pm with a break in the middle for lunch. For the rest of the week, I spend about two or three days at the hotel training center teaching basic English from 10am until 3pm with an hour-long break for lunch. Even with the minimal teaching schedule, teaching for the hotel has become quite tedious and tiresome. I eagerly await my lunch break.

I shouldn't complain since the hotel provides my lunch, but it's glorified Chinese airplane food. I don't eat that much of it - even though it is customary to eat all that is put in front of you in China.

I was quietly enjoying my lunch today when Vicky, an upper-management hotel employee, joined me. She used to live in Seattle where "the weather is perfect all the time."

"Really?" I questioned.

"Yes. Perfect. Not like this."

I looked out of the window and saw rain, gray skies, and wind - what I though to be typical Seattle weather.

I took another bite of my lunch. Vicky looked at me with amazement.

"Your chopstick skills are very good."

"Yeah. Lots of practice, I guess."

"And your food? Do you like it?"

"Yeah, actually, it's very good today." I said as I put another bite of what I thought was chicken into my mouth.

"Really? Most westerners don't eat that. They think it's gross."

My mind was racing. "Did I just eat dog? What IS THIS?" I frantically thought to myself.

I set my chopsticks down.

"Oh, well... what is it?" I calmly inquired.

"Oh... it's... hmmm.... I don't know what you would call it. It's from a pig though."

"Ting hao de...." I said.

After work, I took a cab downtown for a warm cup of tea and dinner. I sat alone at one of my favorite restaurants. A group of three young adults sat across the aisle from me. As they giggled and spoke intermittent English I couldn't help but feel self-conscious. Their giggles were often preceded by finger-pointing in my direction. I'm used to the staring by now, but with my increasing understanding of the Mandarin language I find myself understanding conversations I wished that I did not. They were making fun of me.

I focused on my book and was determined to enjoy my warm bowl of curry. As soon as I finished, I hailed the nearest waiter and handed him my money. The three young adults had also just finished their coffees and handed their money to the waiter as well.

He returned with my change. Well, he returned with part of my change. I counted my money and noticed that he only handed me 64rmb when I should have received 75rmb.

He had clearly switched my bill with the three people sitting across from me - an understandable mistake to make in a busy restaurant.

However, as I waved the waiter over to settle the mistake, the three young adults realized their good fortune, quickly grabbed their belongings, and ran out of the door leaving me 11rmb short.

(11rmb roughly equals $2)

I couldn't help but laugh at my misfortune.

Tomorrow is the Mid-Autumn Festival. I have been invited to a friend's house for dinner. It is a holiday roughly equated to Thanksgiving (but without the pumpkin pie). It is a celebration of family, friends, good-fortune, and the new season.

I am excited to share this holiday with some close friends. Even after days like today, I find myself blessed to feel a familial type of support from those around me.

moon cakes

My inability to find any semblance of peace when things start to take a turn for the worse is a trait that I wish to rid myself of.

The issues that have been bothering me are really quite irrelevant at this point. I just wish that I could slow down, take a second, and put all of my issues into a more realistic perspective.

I fought with the school (yet again) about my internet, passport, and salary.

"Patrick, can I pick up my passport today?"

"I don't know where it is."

"I gave it to you to get my visa renewed 2 weeks ago."

"Oh, I gave it to someone else."

"Okay, well what about my salary?"

"You have to get that from someone else, too."

I stormed out of his office. Before the door slammed behind me, I yelled, "My internet still isn't working so I guess I'll get someone else to handle that, too!"

A few hours later I received my salary from Christina. After shoving a wad of cash into my purse, Christina shoved two small boxes into my hands.

"Here, take these. Moon cakes."

September 22nd is the Mid-Autumn Festival. I think I'll like this holiday. They celebrate by eating mini cakes.

I start working for TEC again tomorrow. I am meeting Alex at the subway station in the morning. From there, we will meet up with the other teachers outside of the TEC building and head to the HuaCheng Hotel. TEC has just won a contract teaching English to the employees of this new hotel. Tomorrow is our first day and we will be giving the employees placement tests to see what their level of English is.

Honestly, it all sounds a bit boring. I'm not very excited about interviewing hundreds of Chinese people and grading their English skills. However, I'm excited about this new teaching opportunity.

Last night, Cathy and I had dinner together. As we rode the subway back home, we talked about what an interesting life we lead. Neither one of us thought that we'd ever become English teachers in a foreign country. We did not go to college for this life.

But, for some strange reason, we found ourselves here. We talked about the various personalities we've come across and just how perfectly individual each person is. You'd think that in a country of 1.3 billion people you'd come across a few that were eerily similar. This is not the case. So, I am looking forward to meeting new people. I am looking forward to helping them with their English. I am looking forward to seeing life through yet another set of eyes.

basic necessities

I have always said that without the internet, living away from home would be pretty unbearable.

Currently, I am on day 4 without the internet. The school is undergoing a tremendous amount of construction which is the cause for the majority of these issues. However, it seems that I am the only person in our building without the ability to connect to the internet at this time.

Yesterday I called Patrick, one of my contacts at the school that speaks adequate English, and told him that I was unable to get online. He reminded me that it was Saturday and said, "I do not work on Saturdays. You must wait until Monday for me to help you."

It is a constant struggle with the school administration. Questions are continually deferred to other people.

Last week, I emailed Christina (another school contact) asking her where my classroom was located. Her response was "I cannot answer your question. Please email Grace."

Not only am I sure the Christina knows where my classroom is located, but Grace's desk is about 2 feet to the left of Christina's.

Like I said, it is a constant struggle.

My first day of teaching was wonderful; however, I worry that the large classroom sizes are going to cause a great amount of difficulty for me. I teach 4 classes with over 30 students in each.

After teaching, I had a lovely dinner with Alex, John, Jim, and Alex's girlfriend, Maggie. We celebrated my birthday and had a wonderful time catching up about our classes and summertime experiences.

My birthday cake and a lovely can of PBR.

Even with all of these difficulties I have been encountering over the past few weeks, I am still happy that I have returned. I had been greatly regretting my choice to return to China. After all, there are countless other locations around the globe I would like to spend time in, but I am glad that I have been given the opportunity to understand this culture more thoroughly. I still feel like I have so much to learn.

My Return.

After a mind-altering journey across China, a tour through Tibet (which I'm sure I will expound upon in the future), and an all too short visit home... I am back in Tianjin.

Two days before moving back to the states, I had an interview with the Tianjin University of Science and Technology and was offered a job teaching an English writing course. Luckily, I am only about a 20 minute walk from my old campus and have been able to keep in contact with everyone.

Parting ways with my family was much harder than my previous journey. My first few days here were terribly difficult, but now that I'm more adapted to my surroundings I'm feeling much more at ease with my decision to return for another semester.

My dear friend, Leah, just left after a week-long visit. We spent a few days in Beijing and then came back to Tianjin for the remainder of her stay. It was wonderful having her around. I had been regretting my decision to return to this area while there are so many other opportunities for teaching around the world. Leah's presence allowed me to see this country from a fresh perspective - I really have a lot more to learn and experience. Living in a foreign country is a remarkable opportunity that I hope to take full advantage of..

Classes start tomorrow. I am quite excited to see what new experiences lay ahead for me within the next few months.

On a side note: Tibet was the most eye-opening, awe-inspiring, breathtakingly beautiful experience of my life. I have just received an email from my tour guide asking me to visit him again in the near future. The happiness I feel from completing one of my biggest life goals and from experiencing such a wonderfully unique culture is unparalleled in everything else I have experienced. On the morning of June 26th, I woke up at the base of Mount Everest in a tent that was owned by local Tibetans. They cooked me a humble breakfast and filled my glass with strong coffee. We laughed together as we spoke about the mind-numbing feeling of being over 18,000 feet above sea level. I felt the purest joy imaginable.

Each evening I wrote ad nauseum. I will try to retell some of my experiences throughout the future and apologize for my poor upkeep of this site.

June 25th, 2010. Mt. Everest Base Camp. 18,192ft.

Tibet.

Day01(June19): take train from Beijing to Lhasa

Day02(June20): on the train

Day03(June21): Arrive in Lhasa

When you arrive in Lhasa, meet our local staff at the train station, they will hold you name waiting for you at exit, send you to your hotel for rest.(adapt to Mountain sickness)

Day04(June22): Sight-seeing in Lhasa city.

Visit Potala palace in the morning, visit Jokhang temple in the afternoon, walk around Barkor Street. Overnight in Lhasa.

Day05(June23): Lhasa-Namtso-Lhasa

You will have a chance to see Nyenchen Thanglha snow mountain ranges, and pass the Nagela. Namtso Lake is the sky lake which is one of the three holy lakes in Tibet, also the highest salt lake.You can do a little hiking around. On the way back, you can have hot-spring at Yangbachen if you like.

Day06(June24): Lhasa/Yamdrok lake/Gyanstse/Shigatse

Pass Gangbala Pass which is over 5000m, from there you will see Lake Yamdrok (40RMB/p) which is one of the three holy lakes in Tibet . Then drive back to Qushui, along Nepal friendship way to Gyantse, visit the famous Kumpum stupa in Gyantse. Then arrive in Shigatse Overnight at Shigatse.

Day07(June25): Shigatse- Shegar –Rongbuk(Everest Base Camp)

In the morning drive to Rongbuk, which is the highest temple in the world. In the afternoon we walk 7 km to the Base Camp and do some sightseeing there. Walking or drive by horse vehicle to Rongbuk. Overnight at Rongbuk guesthouse (dorm beds ) or EBC(dorm beds).

Day08(June26): E.B.C-Shigatse

If you are lucky enough, you will see sunrise at Everest base camp. Late morning start driving back to Shigatse. Overnight at Shigatse.

Day09(June27): Shigatse-Lhasa

Morning visit the Bachen Lama which was Built in 1447 by the first Dalai Lama. Then the spectacular tombs of Panchen Lamas. Afternoon drive back to Lhasa along Yarlong Tsangpo river by the Nepal friendship road. Overnight at Lhasa.

Day10(June28): Leave Lhasa

Flight leaves Lhasa airport and arrives in Beijing at 9pm.