It's Official.

I'll be leaving the Canton-Akron Regional Airport February 22nd at 10:30am.

Currently, the fear is overwhelming. I'm sure that I'll struggle immensely with the language barrier, eating habits, and general customs while overseas, but I am confident that I can overcome. However, I fear being away from my family and friends without a readily available route home. For some strange reason, this fear intrigues me and I want to see if I can handle it. I want to see if I am emotionally tough enough to handle the distance and the new experience.

Everyone has been asking me why I've decided to make this move and I still struggle to explain my reasons. I wrote a brief entry in my journal while waiting for my plane to board to China last October that I hope helps explain my decision.

"...[S]he told me about his (my father's) decision to move to Florida after high school. To look at your world and decide that you need something new defines so much about who he was. Sometimes you need to leave your environment, pack your bags, grab a motorcycle, and head to Florida. So do it."

My father was the ultimate dreamer. He lived by a different set of ideals. Cashing in his 401k to become a pilot would be an outlandish decision for most other men, but he saw no other option. He had wanted to be a pilot since childhood and made it happen.
It must have just been by observation that I gained this character trait from my father. I don't remember him sitting me down and having a heart to heart with me about reaching for your dreams or anything like that. He was a man of few words, but his actions spoke volumes.

So, the other night while fittingly having dinner at the local Chinese restaurant with my mother, I tried to explain to her my decision to move to China. So, here goes...
I feel like moving to Pittsburgh has been the best decision of my life. It defined me and made me rely on myself. The isolation gave me a new-found independence that sparked new desires that I doubt I would have discovered while living in Ohio. Unfortunately though, by the end of my college career, I became overwhelmed with everything I was involved with. 18 credit hours a semester, undergraduate research, undergraduate advising, health problems, president of a few clubs, active member countless others... all while trying to keep a social life and be a daughter, sister, and friend. I became emotionally swamped and fled back to Ohio - my safe place. I refer to that time in my life as my "hibernation."
It's been over a year since I moved back to Ohio. I've reevaluated myself and my desires. I have become more passionate about my future and I know that I need to kick-start the rest of my life. It's time to wake the sleeping bear and jump into something again. I see China as yet another opportunity for introspection. The isolation will provide me with an opportunity to discover my true passions and clear my head yet again. Away from all that I know, I will have no other choice but to rely on myself.

Do you get it, now?