Chinese Massage

It was somewhere between the excruciating ear pinching and nauseating stomach punches that I thought, "This'll make another good blog."

The only massage I've received before today was while vacationing with a former boyfriend's family. The masseuse repeatedly asked me to relax, but I was too freaked out that a person I had never met was going to rub hot oil all over my body in a dimly lit room with lite jazz playing in the background.

The massage parlor today was delightful. It was extremely clean, smelled of incense, and the waitstaff was quite attentive. We were able to book a private room with three beds and three masseurs.

They started by soaking our feet in an herbal medicine. After a light foot massage, we were asked to lay on our backs. I closed my eyes and tried to relax, but she was pinching my toes and digging her fingernails into the arch of my foot. I recoiled in pain, but her grip was too strong. She pulled me back into place and smiled at me.

For the next hour and a half, she punched me, dug her elbow into my muscles, and smacked me around. The masseurs are quite athletic here. She'd have me hold her arms while she stood on my butt and hoisted me into the air. At one point, I felt extreme pressure on my back. I looked up and she was walking up and down my back while grinning. The most relaxing part was the ear massage. I fell asleep for a moment, but was woken up by a loud crackling noise. She had shoved a hollow candle into my ear for a "cleaning" treatment called "ear mining."

After my ears were cleaned, we had a "cupping treatment."

A man came in, had us remove our shirts and lay on our stomachs. He then lit a large flame, placed the flame into small glass globes, and quickly stuck the globes onto our backs. The flame dies out, but it leaves a strong suction within the globe. Your skin is sucked offof your body by at least an inch. The pain is pretty rough at first, but endorphins quickly replace the pain with extreme elation. You sit there for a few minutes, trying not to move until the man returns and removes them. The removal process was excruciating.

HOME SOON!