Tibet.

Day01(June19): take train from Beijing to Lhasa

Day02(June20): on the train

Day03(June21): Arrive in Lhasa

When you arrive in Lhasa, meet our local staff at the train station, they will hold you name waiting for you at exit, send you to your hotel for rest.(adapt to Mountain sickness)

Day04(June22): Sight-seeing in Lhasa city.

Visit Potala palace in the morning, visit Jokhang temple in the afternoon, walk around Barkor Street. Overnight in Lhasa.

Day05(June23): Lhasa-Namtso-Lhasa

You will have a chance to see Nyenchen Thanglha snow mountain ranges, and pass the Nagela. Namtso Lake is the sky lake which is one of the three holy lakes in Tibet, also the highest salt lake.You can do a little hiking around. On the way back, you can have hot-spring at Yangbachen if you like.

Day06(June24): Lhasa/Yamdrok lake/Gyanstse/Shigatse

Pass Gangbala Pass which is over 5000m, from there you will see Lake Yamdrok (40RMB/p) which is one of the three holy lakes in Tibet . Then drive back to Qushui, along Nepal friendship way to Gyantse, visit the famous Kumpum stupa in Gyantse. Then arrive in Shigatse Overnight at Shigatse.

Day07(June25): Shigatse- Shegar –Rongbuk(Everest Base Camp)

In the morning drive to Rongbuk, which is the highest temple in the world. In the afternoon we walk 7 km to the Base Camp and do some sightseeing there. Walking or drive by horse vehicle to Rongbuk. Overnight at Rongbuk guesthouse (dorm beds ) or EBC(dorm beds).

Day08(June26): E.B.C-Shigatse

If you are lucky enough, you will see sunrise at Everest base camp. Late morning start driving back to Shigatse. Overnight at Shigatse.

Day09(June27): Shigatse-Lhasa

Morning visit the Bachen Lama which was Built in 1447 by the first Dalai Lama. Then the spectacular tombs of Panchen Lamas. Afternoon drive back to Lhasa along Yarlong Tsangpo river by the Nepal friendship road. Overnight at Lhasa.

Day10(June28): Leave Lhasa

Flight leaves Lhasa airport and arrives in Beijing at 9pm.

I have a new boyfriend. I think his name is Mike

I can remember watching the 1994 World Cup with my brother. We were living in Canal Fulton at that time. Josh was old enough to take care of the both of us during the summer, so we were home instead of at our babysitter's house. As children, our parents enrolled us in a summer soccer league called NJSL (Northwest Jackson Soccer League). I admired Josh and all of his team mates. But that summer, we spent our days and nights admiring players like Alexei Lalas and Cobie Jones.

Last Saturday, I met up with a few friends at a new bar/restaurant downtown called Hannah's. It's a cajun bar run by an American born Chinese man named Jack. He has six restaurants in the States and just one in China. Alex, naturally, was rooting for England while Holly, myself, Jack, and a few random expats were rooting for the US. Deep down, I knew that the US was destined for defeat, but I was still excited to watch the match with my new-found friends.

We arrived at the bar at 10:30. Due to the time difference, the USA/England match did not start until 2:30 in the morning. This left us with ample time to ready ourselves for the match ahead.

As kickoff was approaching, the bar began to fill with more British expats. They fulfilled every stereotype I had about British soccer fans and alcohol. Holly and I tried to make up cheers and chants to sing louder than them, but we could only think of the Star Spangled Banner and Born in the USA. We got into heated discussions about the Revolutionary War, War of 1812, and King George. After all, America is undefeated against England in all wars.

A few minutes into the first half, England scored. Holly and I were quieted by their cheers and laughter. With their team winning, the Brits became happier and happier. Holly and I found ourselves with two boys named Richie and Mike (I think). They are from Liverpool and work for AirBus. They thought we were the most beautiful girls they had seen in China since arriving a few months ago. We laughed at their blatant pick-up lines throughout the rest of the game.

Then, America scored.

Holly and I were deserted on one side of the bar while our new friends Mike(?) and Richie commiserated with their cohorts on the other side. After the first half ended, we met back up with our friends. Richie has been to America once. He drove across Route 66 with a few friends. Mike(?) had been to Florida and hated every minute of it.

I told him I had been to Florida as a teenager and hated every minute of it, too.

He told me that we had a lot in common and we should get married.

I laughed.

We hardly watched the second half of the game. Instead, we tried to speak with our two new friends. Being from Liverpool, their accents are much different from Alex's. I asked Alex to help me translate what Mike(?) was saying and even Alex didn't understand.

Mike(?) seems harmless and quite funny. But, I could be wrong. His accent is so hard to understand.

Thankfully, the game ended in a tie. The Brits were quite pompous about their team before the game, so it was nice to see them humbled a little bit. We exchanged phone numbers with our friends and left the bar at 5am. The sunrise in Tianjin is beautiful.

This Friday, we're meeting up at Hannah's yet again. Our new friends will join us. I am very excited.

__________________________

I had quite a disappointing meeting with Apollo yesterday. He thinks that my only hope for teaching here in the fall is to work for an English school - not a university. I would much rather work at a university, so I'm going to continue looking on my own.

I've been contemplating my future with great fervor lately. I refuse to limit my immediate future to China. There is so much more of the world that I would like to experience. South America? Africa? Who knows...

I am at such peace with my future. This has been the best decision of my life.

Adulthood.

I feel as though I have not been very candid to others about my battle with depression. Quite accordingly, it started after my father passed away and was only reinforced after the passing of my grandmother and a very close friend. After their passing, I saw depression as my eternal burden. It was something that I could not rid myself of. I felt destined for a lifetime of sadness.

However, a few years ago, I experienced love for the first time. The happiness it gave me brought up surprising feelings of guilt. Happiness was a foreign feeling to me; I felt like I was denying my late father by feeling the euphoria of love.

That relationship ended in the rawest of heartache. I fear that the cliches surrounding break-ups deny so many of the horrendous feelings we all go through. It was a tragic occurrence that I am thankful to have experienced.

Without everything that has happened in my past, I would not be here - sitting in a Starbucks on Ying Kou Dao in Tianjin, China during the Dragon Boat Festival holiday with plans of watching the World Cup with friends that I feel closer to than most I have in America.

_____________________

Last week the six of us went to our favorite dumpling restaurant for dinner. It would be the last time we would all sit around a table together. The semester has ended and we're all going off in different directions. I have grown especially close to two of the other teachers, Alex and Cathy. Alex is from London, England. He originally came to Tianjin to pursue Wu Shu (Kung Fu) and taught in order to retain his residency. Cathy is from the Philippines and has taught in Tianjin the longest out of all of the teachers. I refer to Alex as my GeGe or "older brother". He is a great friend and someone that I'm going to miss very deeply.

Not pictured are John and Jim. John is the only other American besides Jen and myself. He lives across the hall from me and I've grown quite fond of his company. His outlook on life in China always brings a smile to my face. Jim is Canadian and older than the rest of us. He teaches at another campus about an hour away from our dormitories, so I don't see much of him. It was a lovely evening of retrospect and story-telling.

I can remember sitting at a bar with a friend before I left for China in February. I was more than full of trepidation - I was completely regretting my decision to move. I didn't want to leave my friends and family back home. I didn't want to leave everything I knew behind. My friend laughed at me and said, "Come July, you'll be dreading that flight back to America. You won't want to come back here."

I knew he was right. I knew that the decision I had made to move here would prove rewarding. I signed that contract to feel independent again. I wanted to experience something new.

I've been thinking a lot about adulthood lately. I never saw myself as an adult until I moved here. I never felt purely independent. I always had a backup plan. I always had somewhere to retreat. Living in a foreign country gives you a sense of danger that is unimaginably powerful. Independence is intoxicating.

I've been toying with the idea of returning to Tianjin after spending the summer holiday in America. Just a few weeks ago, I was certain that my time was up - I needed to go home.

Tonight, I'm meeting with Apollo. He is an intermediary between English departments in Tianjin and teachers. He is attempting to find me a new job so that I may return in September to teach another term.

Insomnia, Dumplings, and Dread

Even as a child, I'd lay awake at all hours of the night. Helpless, I'd count to 1,000 and back until I fell asleep. This most recent attack has made me feel fully and completely exhausted, but my mind will not slow down. I have tried everything. I stop using my computer at least an hour before I want to fall asleep, I have completely eradicated any caffeine intake, I try to journal all of my errant thoughts before attempting sleep. But, even with all of my efforts, I still cannot sleep.

I have just returned from a wonderful evening with friends. Tom invited a few of us over for dinner tonight. He cooked many varieties of food, but my favorite were the egg dumplings. If Tom plays his cards right, I'll marry him for those dumplings.

I feel completely content. My language skills still need a lot of work, but I'm comfortable venturing out on my own. My homesickness is almost non-existent. I just crave a really good waffle, a cup of coffee, the New York Times, and my porch.

Honestly, I'm dreading the return home. I am so excited to see my family and my dogs, but I will miss so much about this country. I will miss the friends I have made. We are a family.

I have been applying for various jobs back in Ohio for my return. Also, I've been researching graduate schools for my next foray into the educational system. I know what I want to do and it seems like I'll either be moving to California or NYC.

P.S. Buy the new Black Keys album. It makes me proud to be from Ohio.... amongst many other things.

A Senseless Plan

I went to a birthday party for some friends I've met here on campus last night. Part-way through the evening, a guy approached me. "You're from Ohio, huh?"

I was caught off-guard. He was Asian, yet spoke perfect English.

"Yep. I've never seen you before," I said.

"Oh my name is Brian. I'm here on a 3-week study-abroad program from UCSD. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure...."

"I've only been here 2 weeks so far and I'm so unbelievably homesick. How do you do it?"

Jen gave me a book the day I arrived called Survival Kit for Overseas Living: For Americans planning to live and work abroad. The book gives a multitude of solutions for dealing with culture shock. Most notably, exploring. I've never been this busy in my life, and I absolutely love it.

Last weekend, Jen and I took a tour of the city sponsored by the university. We were transported to a central location and met up with about 50 other white people from various universities around the city. Sitting on the bus as we traveled from site to site was difficult. While I enjoyed the tour, I was annoyed that I understood what people were saying. Their conversations were aggravating. Their voices were so loud.

I have become extremely content living within my own language barrier.

While culture shock is related to homesickness, I believe that they can be (and have been, in my situation) mutually exclusive. Other than my mother, I've distanced myself from everyone back home. I haven't written emails to friends or family in months. Above everything else I have tried, this distance has helped me deal with my homesickness more than anything else.

However helpful this senseless plan has been, I faltered a bit tonight. By keeping my communications at a minimum, I've been keeping a lot of emotions inside. I had dinner with Alex and Jen downtown tonight. We sat outside and talked at great lengths about our families. I told them about my brother and how much I miss him - how I honestly feel that he is my best friend - how happy I am that he's found such pure love - how I admire his life and miss his companionship.

After returning home from dinner, I cried for the first time in weeks.

With only a few weeks left, I'm trying to fill my calendar with as many experiences as possible (Tibet). I hope to return here in the future. If I don't return, I want know that I didn't waste any time while living abroad.

I told Brian that I've cut off most communication with home. I've spent my free time exploring every location possible. "It's sad, but you have to forget your home. You have to live here. You have to experience this. Don't think of home. Don't let your mind go there. You're here."

Each friend I spoke to, each email, each message took me 6,000 miles away from here. I stopped living in China and only counted the days until I returned home. I forgot why I came here. Living in this moment has helped me put the entirety of this situation into focus.

I'm going to miss China.

We were discussing life this week in class. What is life? What are the basic necessities of life? I asked them to give me the 5 most important things in life in order.

Health. Food. Family. Friendship. Money.

I asked them to explain each choice and and their position in the list. Why is family more important than friendship? Why isn't money the most important thing in life?

Most importantly, out of each of my classes no one put love in their top five. A student tried to explain why, "We need health to live. We need food to live. Family and friends are life. Money? Money is a necessary evil. Love? You can live without love. You cannot love without life."

I love how complex thoughts in my mind are so simple in their minds. I love their outlook on life and love and beauty and happiness. I am really going to miss teaching. I cannot believe I only have 43 days left here.

______________________

A few years ago I made a list of places I want to see before I die. It was the summer before my senior year of college and I was totally alone. I was left behind after a catastrophic break-up. My best friend (Jen) had graduated and moved away. I lived alone for the first time. Out of this loneliness I felt an undefined strength to accomplish anything and this list clearly reflects that untouchable feeling. I have often laughed at the extensive list I have compiled, but recently I have come to the realization that dreams are nothing without action.

I will finally be able to cross a location off of my list.

I will be taking a train across the majority of China next month that will drop me off in Lhasa, Tibet.

The entire train trip will take about two days. I will spend the next 8 days in Lhasa (former home of the Dalai Lama), Gyantse, Shigatse, Shegar, and Rongbuk. On the morning of June 26th, I will wake up to the sunrise over Mount Everest from base camp.

May 10, 1998

He died at an integral part of my life that left me with just enough memories to miss him and few enough to feel cheated. I often wonder what he'd think of me now. My dream is to sip coffee and play chess with my father.

I have found great peace in knowing that I am my his legacy. He was a man of few but passionate words; his actions were immeasurable.

Over the past 12 years, my longing for a father has not faded. My loss is inescapable. However, the pain I have felt is subsiding. I never would have thought that this whole process would have taken this long.

I used to struggle with the desire to make him proud of me. Without knowing - without seeing his face, there was no way to know if what I was doing with my life made him proud. I pushed myself further than I had felt capable, all to make him happy.

I am proud of my decisions, so far. I have few regrets and have full belief that every experience has made me a better person. I have a lot to work on, but I'm getting close. I don't struggle with making him proud anymore. I struggle with finding my own path in life.

I have a strange sense of peace in knowing that my father will always impact my life. Every decision I make will somehow have his imprint. I am my father's daughter.